Today, let’s talk about why focusing on ease is actually a better goal than focusing on building the perfect life. And how focusing on EASE — actually takes you to creating your perfect and ideal life!
So many of us aspire to build ‘the perfect life’ (me included!) — and in doing so, we can, unfortunately, get so swept up with the idea of building THE PERFECT LIFE (that has WOW factor/that is aspirational)…
Whether that’s : The first class travel, staying in five-star hotels, travelling the world for holiday and work, working with the world’s best leaders, attending events and workshops in all corners of the world, a luxurious dream home, shopping at designer stores, an enviable wardrobe, a support team supporting you in life and business from cleaners, personal assistants, chefs, team members and so on.
The idea of ‘THE PERFECT LIFE’ can look a certain way — often it includes aspirational qualities like luxury, travel, freedom, support etc.
So often, our goals are those above elements that we believe will help us build ‘the perfect life’.
The perfect business, perfect lifestyle, perfect home, perfect vacation.
The perfect life can also be a trap.
We can get caught in a cycle that looks like this : We keep striving to create this version of the perfect life, and even the most self-aware of us can be so focused, ambitious, and caught up taking action — we forget to check if ‘the perfect life’ is ‘our perfect life’. We might even feel pressure on ourselves to create this perfect image of our lives…
Can you relate to that?
Why The Perfect Life is An Illusion
1. ‘The Perfect Life’ often stems from our cultural conditioning and/or background influences.
We have this image in our minds of what ‘the perfect life’ is, and we convince ourselves that SUCCESS = having that.
For me, I felt I couldn’t feel successful until I was able to fully support myself AND my parents, until I could retire my love, buy the house(s), have a certain amount in the bank, be fully booked and having a consistent stream of passive income etc. The slippery slope is when we don’t allow ourselves to FEEL our success because there’s always the ‘next thing’ — and we are always feeling the ‘not enoughness’.
When I stopped chasing the perfect life (and its related obligations/ideas/criteria), I was able to acknowledge my success (and celebrate my successes today) and create from this space of more value, service and giving.
Wha to do : Redefine what your perfect life looks like, and let yourself be LED by EASEFUL desires (vs. what you think you ‘should have’ to be a success)
2. Striving for The Perfect Life is futile, because perfection is always one step out of our grasp.
When we are so obsessed about creating the perfect version of something — we can start feeling like ‘perfection is always just one step away’. It’s one more chapter, it’s one more edit, it’s one more book/program/purchase/investment/goal away.
Ease is about enoughness, now.
Ease is about knowing you don’t NEED anything extra to feel like you have your perfect life — it’s about learning to live your perfect life now! It’s about not NEEDING more, more and more — however, when you truly DESIRE more, you can choose to have it too! And from a space of knowing you are always choosing more from a space of worthiness, intuition and self-guidance.
What to do : Know that you can start living your perfect life now, instead of feeling you’re on the hamster wheel.
3. First class is different for everyone (We all value different things and that’s OK!)
After studying with my 7-figure (and multi-7 figure) coaches and mentors, I’ve really learnt that first class is SO different for everyone. You could live a first class life without any flashy cars, homes, purchases, vacations! You could live a first class live with ALL of the above.
When I conduct my discovery calls, a lot of clients come to me and share that they desire to run a 6 figure business, travel the world, flying first/business class, financially support their dreams and desires, get fully booked, sell high end packages. It’s almost like we were told that we need those things to feel successful and have a first class business & life.
The invitation here is to define what first class MEANS for you … And then giving yourself permission to go build that.
What to do : Ask yourself, ‘What do you truly value? What kind of business and life do you truly desire? HOW do you desire to create it (the journey matters too)?’ START from that space!
Perfection = A future destination.
Ease = NOW.
Recognize that what you have now IS enough, and you are indeed creating your own version of your perfect life now.
Ease as a goal doesn’t mean everything is easy peasy.
Ease means expansion, it means you are coming from a space of heart + soul.
Ease means you’re still committed to stretching — and that’s uncomfortable.
An easeful stretch, though, sounds more like ‘I know I am meant for this now and this is what is required of me. So here we go!’
On the other hand, a stretch based in fear and ‘should’ looks more like “I need to do this now or else (fear of missing out, fear of not living up to my potential now, fear of not creating the best and losing out).’
Why I’m Talking about This : The Time I was Building The Perfect Life
I remember a time where I was so focused on building ‘the perfect life’ — I travelled internationally for 3 months out of the year, travelled business class, moved into my dream apartment in the heart of the city, hired a cleaner every week, and flew half way around the world to work with the industry’s leading coaches 6 times in the span of 12 months. Oh, I also was graduating from my nutrition degree, completing a coaching certification, and running my business full-time.
I truly believed that I needed to create the perfect life for me at the time. And I was in the process of it…
However, it was also a constant, never-ending motion of ‘the next piece, and the next upgrade, and the next investment’.
It never felt enough — there was always something more I had to be, do, and/or have. It was tiring after awhile. And I started to feel less and less excited about ‘the perfect life’. (And confused too, because why wasn’t I excited about building my DREAM life?)
It really felt like I had climbed up to the top of the ladder — thinking along the way that when I reached the top I would finally feel happy, worthy, and that I could enjoy my success.
Yet — when I was ‘there’, I felt none of those things, and I started to wonder if I was on the right ladder or if there was something wrong with the goals I had set out to achieve.
Don’t get me wrong — it was all super exciting — but it was also unsustainable. I burnt out within 1.5 years of being fixated on ‘the perfect life’ and had to take some time to really focus on what I TRULY desired to create in my life.
I spent almost a year shifting into EASE, and now everything runs so much more smoothly, more intuitively, more authentically, more joyfully!
Trust me, it’s so worth it to start asking yourself how can your goals and processes be more EASEFUL… :-)
What does your perfect life look like?
Ready to manifest and live your EASEFUL goals and dreams?
I created a program to help you called Easeful : A Business & Income Goals Course for Coaches, Creatives, Heart-Centred Female Entrepreneurs.
We have an in-depth workbook to help you set your goals and ensure they’re all based in ease + heart + authenticity, a 30 day template workbook to help you align and manifest your goals, and monthly Facebook LIVE trainings on all things business + personal development with me — and much more. You’ll feel so supported in your journey.
Join us in Easeful at www.jianiteo.com/easeful