How To Release What No Longer Serves You

Posted on: January 27, 2015 Category: Self Mastery


Getting clear on what no longer serves me continues to assist me greatly in my commitment to the process of spiritual maturation and personal mastery.

Sometimes, the reveal of what no longer serves me comes painfully into my awareness.

Thankfully, often times – I am made aware of what these elements are through a deep knowing that a piece in my life is out of alignment (with my truth).

With the intention of being completely transparent and honest, here are some of the things that I have released which were no longer serving me … and the process of how I have released them.

My intention is that you will gain awareness around what no longer serves you in your current formula – and perhaps you will identify with some of the ones in my previous formula. ;) 

What No Longer Serves Me:

+ Living in fear of judgement.

“Can I really do this thing I really desire to do? What will she say or think – oh gosh, how will she react if I actually did it?”

In that process I have found myself waiting to live my life fully, waiting for permission that only I had the power gift myself, and mostly – living someone else’s idea of what my life should be (and not what I desire my life to be).

+ The “I have to” energy.

You know what I’m talking about …. I have to do this for him/her/them. I HAVE to. I have to explain myself/help them/do this thing that I really have no desire to do if I am being honest …

The truth is, “No. I don’t have to do anything for anyone. I choose to – or I can choose not to.” Moving from obligation energy to taking personal responsibility for my personal choices has drastically decreased resentment within me and increased joy, beauty, and wellbeing.

+ Hiding, not living my truth fully and beautifully.

The quote “Beauty equals truth and truth equals beauty” always resonates so deeply with me when I talk about truth and hiding. I believe that a big reason of why so many women struggle with feeling beautiful is because we have been conditioned to hide and disconnect with our truths – and in the process of self-rejection – are disconnected with our beauty.

The more I express my truth and commit to my journey of living my truth fully in all areas of life (unapologetically), the more beautiful I know I am, and feel.

+ The need to please others.

From a proving energy, let me show you how capable I am. No…. this doesn’t serve us. When we are in this energy, no matter how much (or little) external validation we receive, a deeper void exists. What we are seeking is self-love and self-honouring, in a way that only we can gift ourselves.

+ Extremism.

Another post on this because there is so much more to say…. I am an extremist, and yet at times, I know the “all or nothing” energy doesn’t serve me. I am definitely a work in progress in terms of embracing balance and swinging less from each end of the spectrum. Balance is beautiful. ;)

+ Tolerating overstepped boundaries.

Tolerating what we know (deep down) we are not available for is deeply related to self-worth. You are worthy (by default ;) to have your boundaries upheld.

3 Steps to Release What No Longer Serves You:

1. Trace it back and journal around the person you will be if you release this.

Where did this pattern stem from? Tracing back to the stem and root of issues often help us understand why we have been operating unconsciously. Often, these patterns served us in the past.

Of course, It serves us until it no longer does. Until the conscious awareness that it doesn’t serve us grows to a tipping point where we will (and can) no longer revert back to being unconscious.

Journal, visualize, connect with who you will be when you release this non-serving piece. How does it feel – beautiful? empowering? free? Often it will connect us to our core values on a deeper level, which is exactly why it is such an important piece in our journey.

2. Set an intention to release the pattern (and recommit to it daily).

When we set an intention we invite experience and opportunities in our life to fulfil the intention. When remind ourselves of our intention on a daily basis, we start reprogramming old patterns into consciously created empowered belief systems. Set an intention, write out what you choose to release and commit to it daily.

(Tip: I also love harnessing the energy of the full moon to further commit to what I am choosing to release (that being said, now is as good a time!).)

3. When we are creating new patterns, we often find that we require to create powerful boundaries (and uphold them) – especially around people who already know us.

Powerful boundaries are boundaries you put in place from a place of self-love, and boundaries that YOU can uphold.

For instance, you realize you’re no longer available to be in conversations that are negative as they aren’t conducive to your wellbeing. You may choose to say “When the conversations turn negative it really affects my emotional wellbeing, so when they become negative I will choose to exit.” This is a powerful boundary because you can walk away from talking to the person.

Another example is you may say: “When the conversations turn negative it really affects my emotional wellbeing, so can you please lovingly refrain from talking negatively?” This is not a powerful boundary because you are powerless in this situation because the boundary has to be upheld by the other person.

4. Finally, repeat as required.

The more we repeat a process and experience, the more we allow something to become our new “normal”.

How do we know we’ve made progress? I’ve found that I will often be cast in a similar situation as before, and now I will have more awareness – in fact, I will have the opportunity to choose how to respond.  (In other words, it no longer becomes a reactive scenario. It now becomes an opportunity to choose to live more beautifully, more consciously, and more the way I desire to live.) – Which is the whole point, right? ;)

In the comments below: Tell me, what are the things that no longer serve you that you are ready to release. If you have your own tips on how to release patterns that are non-serving, please share them below too!

Looking forward to hearing from you!



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  1. Wonderful post, Jia Ni! I always enjoy reading your entries. Have been doing so for the past couple months. Your words are perfect timing especially during this time of the year – the beginning! Going to apply your tips for sure.