What STOPS most women from living the life they TRULY desire

Posted on: October 2, 2014 Category: Self Mastery

Last week, I spent my time in Sydney connecting with women from all around the world who were committed to taking our businesses and life to the next level.


One of my biggest takeaways was around what STOPS most women from having it all … and living the life they TRULY desire.


What STOPS most women from living the life they TRULY desire?


Let’s talk about what some of us call the Tall Poppy Syndrome.

The tall poppy syndrome (TPS) is a pejorative term to describe a social phenomenon in which people of genuine merit are resented, attacked, cut down, or criticised because their talents or achievements elevate them above or distinguish them from their peers.

The fear of being chopped down, ‘modern day witch burned’, ostracised – when we REALLY give ourselves the permission to play big, live out loud, have it all.

There’s a deep-seeded wound buried within many women that prevents us from shining brightly, going all out and all in when it comes to manifesting our dreams and desires.

A protective mechanism (that can even be an unconscious reflex) that holds us back from playing bigger, because we anticipate a negative and potentially hurtful reaction from people around us.

We unconsciously make ourselves become invisible in the game.

We unconsciously take ourselves out of the game.

We self-abandon in the game that is our life.

As a young girl, I recall seeing other incredible women who were living what I desired, yet instead of celebrating and being inspired, I learnt to see them as different and/or privileged and/or wrong.

They were ‘one of THOSE people’.

On the other side of the coin, I also struggled with feeling very much alone, guilty, and wronged when I went all out for my desires.

One day, I realised that I desired to be one of THOSE people too! Those movers and shakers of the world that were living their lives unapologetically. 

That’s when it dawned upon me. I deeply feared that I would be judged the way I had unconsciously judged others in the past. In my judgement, I resisted the parts of me that I desired (& REQUIRED) to become in order to have the life I desired.


In the process of letting go of the effects the fear of being a tall poppy has on us, we require to first let go of the judgements we have towards others (and ourselves).

This week, your assignment is to release JUDGEMENT.

1. Gift yourself some time and space to write down all the things that you desire in your life (including what those people have that you desire). 

2. Then, allow yourself to write down the judgements you have around those people/having them. 

The insight and clarity around why you have not yet allowed yourself to have what you desire in my life already will surface from this process. The more judgements you consciously let go of, the easier the next step becomes.

Next week, I’ll be sharing the 2nd step is so that you can rise above the fear of being a tall poppy & speed up the process of creating the life you desire.

Stay tuned!

Much love,
Jia Ni

(Image source: 1)

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