Take a Walk Down Memory Lane

Posted on: August 14, 2012 Category: Self Mastery

What were you like as a child?

What were you like – before you were put into the system that is our world? Before you were influenced by the environment and told that this is a winner/loser, rich/poor, have/lack world (and that you were on either side so you had better be on the win side)?

Who were you before all that?

Let me go first –

  • In my primary and kindergarden years, I was the one who didn’t fit in. I was deemed socially awkward, ”troubled’, and didn’t have many friends because I was different and I didn’t conform to the system.
  • I stood up for kids who were being bullied in school. I tried to negotiate peace between bully + victim whenever a fight broke out. I would tell them to be kind to each other, and that violence wouldn’t solve anything – that only love would.
  • I was the one who gave my classmates the answers during our exams because they couldn’t figure out how to do the questions. I got into trouble for helping my friends, but I have always felt that it was the right thing to and I never regretted it.
  • I was fearless. I would accept challenges just to prove to people that their limiting beliefs were holding them back and stopping them from actualizing their potential and shining in their true greatness.
  • I would tell people how awesome and how much I loved them just because they were being themselves.
  • I would do anything (as long as it was safe) for you, if you told me it would put a smile on your face or brighten up your day.
  • I said ‘NO’ when I didn’t want to do something.
  • I would suddenly go into ‘disconnect’ mode by going for walks in nature alone. I would then sit and ponder on the grass. (I think this caused some dismay in my parents and they thought I was a lonely child who couldn’t fit in.)
  • I would cry in public because I was very upset, or just because I was too happy.
  • I never bottled up my feelings. Emotions flowed through me. My thoughts, feelings and expressions were all in synchronicity. (Yes this led to many tantrum throwing sessions… :)

And then one day I was told by teachers, family, and other ‘higher-power’ figures that this was wrong.

  • That I couldn’t help my friends during exams because it was cheating. That if I helped them they would never learn and perhaps they would score better than me and I would be “disadvantaged”.
  • That I should stay out of fights because it was none of my business and I was a nosy person.
  • That I should keep my feelings to myself.
  • That I should stop accepting challenges and just stay out of things because one day it would get me into “trouble”.
  • That I should disconnect from the world and the people, and make sure there was a barrier between me and them. And that I had better made sure that I had the upper hand all the time.
  • That I should be careful about who I love because some people are ‘cruel, ‘out to get me’, and because love only ends with tears and heartbreak.
  • That I ought to suppress my inner child, stop being so innocent, and start growing up because this is a harsh world. And that this is a man-eat-man world so I had to fight in order to survive, and start climbing the hierachy to achieve recognition and success.

It never resonated with me, but who was I, a young child, to question these ‘wiser’, ‘older’ figures? Wisdom comes with age, right?

Or does age make us forget who we really are? Does age bring us on a detour from our soul if we are caught unaware?

What if all this was wrong? What if this was a world of peace, love, and joy? What if there was no such thing as violence, because all violence was is the absence of peace? What if there was no such thing as darkness, because darkness was only an absence of light? What if there was no such thing as hate, because all hate was is the absence of love?

What if there was enough for everyone here? That there is no “losing out”, only that what you want is not the right thing for you right now, because better things await you?

This is such a beautiful world, so surely the basis on which the world is made was based upon the infinite beauty, innocence and love that is within us.

It wasn’t until recently when I reflected on my past, that I realized how much my child-like state always held the answers – The answers I have spent a decade searching for because I had some how lost sight of it.

The answers to “what am I doing here?”, “what am I supposed to do?” and “what will make me happy?”

I’ve realized that your Inner Child or this (childhood) time of your life provides so much valuable insight as to what you were meant to do here – your purpose, your truth, your ‘sacred contract’.

For instance –

  • I now realize that my standing up against violence and bullies always meant that I found great joy and satisfaction in helping others. I find great sense of purpose in helping others – whether it is to rediscover their journey back to love; to live in health; or to live happily.
  • I now realize that my sudden longing to disconnect was a meditative response. Today, when that instinct hits, I listen and follow. I go for walks in nature and sit alone in the sun sometimes. And it is during these times where solutions to great problems, insights, and inspiration flows to me effortlessly.
  • I now realize that my courage to accept challenges was never a reckless personality despite what I was told. It was one that was essential, and one that had to be done. For it is in such acts of bravery where people start to realize that they, too, have something within them waiting to be unleashed.
  • And that my instinct to give love freely was because we are all beings of Love. It is our source, our fuel, and our soul’s primary food.

I believe that we were born knowing what we were meant to do. And it isn’t until we were influenced externally that we lose sight of the prize, the goal, the light at the end of the tunnel. That prize is our happiness, joy and love.

Today, I’m on my journey to re-embracing my child-like days.

I’m on a journey back to being expressive, saying yes without knowing how, and running and cartwheeling under the sun just because I can.

I’m on a mission – to give freely, expect nothing and love unconditionally.

Dig deep, and share it with me – how were you as a child?

You’d find yourself so surprised when you realize how the “clues” to your purpose in life have always been there.  

Dare to love. Dare to stay starry-eyed. Dare to be different. 

All my love,
Jia Ni

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  1. Rebecca says:

    I love this!

    I’ve long believed that we should allow children to express who they are and be their amazing selves, without trying to mould them into identical robots. (And the couple of years I spent working as a school teacher confirmed this for me!) Too often, we’re told what’s ‘acceptable’ and how we should behave. Just the other day, my mum told me I’m ‘too nice’, and I’ve been called naive on many occasions. But that’s just who I am. I’m a sensitive and emotional person who gets deeply affected by the goings-on around me. I see the best in people and situations, and I’m always ready to help if anyone needs me. If that makes me ‘too nice’, then so be it.


    • Jia Ni says:

      You go girl! I love your comment on so many levels! Stay true to who you are, you amazing, beautiful person. Thanks for dropping by Bec! Always lovely to see you here. xx

  2. Maj Jensen says:

    Beautiful, beautiful post. You are so right and I can really see myself in much of your description of yourself and your experience of growing up. As a mother of a 7-year-old girl I often think about how (and if at all) I can make sure that history doesn’t have to repeat itself. But is it just part of growing up – can it be avoided? I want to believe that it is but I don’t know. What do you think?

    • Jia Ni says:

      I think family plays such a huge role in shaping a person’s future and personality too. Children are like a sponge. They are so starry-eyed, innocent, and pure – but also so easily influenced by the surroundings. A loving, caring, positive bring-up is so important, and I know that your little daughter is being raised in such environment. ;) The fact that you are aware about it means you already know what you’re doing, Maj! Trust your intuition, and let your instincts guide you. You are doing everything right. :) xx

  3. Jia Ni – your blog is really flowing girl! WOW. This was such a beautiful post. I’ve done a lot of ‘inner child’ introspection but never in the way that you described so I am inspired to explore this further. We are speaking the same language about returning to the wholeness & fullness of our original wise Self. xox M

    • Jia Ni says:

      Thanks Monica, you’re so kind! I’m glad this inspired you to dig deeper. Love your posts too. Thanks for dropping by – talk to you soon! xx

  4. This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing. It was just what I needed right now! xoB

  5. Linda says:

    Oh loved this! It is all so connected, how we were brought up, who we are today. Our feelings and the way we handle things. I’ve had to do some deep digging to see how some things I do and say are connected to my childhood. Interesting and just like Maj I also have a 8yr old and think about how not to repeat some parts of history.We should all take a trip down memory lane sometime…

  6. claire says:

    Thanks for a great post Jia! I love the reminders back to child-like ways. Not only is my 4 year old my mentor in this, but a constant source to remind me to say YES, and YES some more to life and its magical adventures.

  7. I love this post! As a child I learned from others that how I was, was wrong. As I embrace my authentic self more and more I find that I’m returning to the child I was and integrating her fully into who I am now. She was so wise and wonderful :)

  8. Tam says:

    i LOVE your posts. so honest… and they resonate with me so much. thank you! this post in particular is really calling me to take further steps towards embracing and loving myself :) this is a wonderful perspective on our childhood and true nature, and so true!