What people think is none of your business

Posted on: November 23, 2012 Category: Self Mastery

Hey life lovers,

I’m having some time away from the Internet this week, dedicating more time with my family and friends before I dive back into work again next week. Still, I had a nagging urge to share this golden nugget of wisdom with you:

“What people think is none of your business.”

Yes. It really is none of your business.

I used to be a people pleaser. I would spend SO MUCH TIME + ENERGY just ruminating over what people thought about me, what did they mean when they said that, what did they mean when they did this… I would spend even more time dissecting every experience and conversation I had with them and then analyzing it to try to determine what they felt/thought about me.

Not too long ago, I released this need. Because what people think is really their business and it’s their mind and theirs to deal with.

Not yours. Or mine.

The effect of releasing this? My happiness level increased exponentially.

Of course, this didn’t happen overnight. I started releasing the need to know what strangers thought about me. Then I moved on to release what friends thought about me, then family members, then my parents.

It’s empowering to say “You know what? What you think about me is really none of my business. No matter what you say/do, I will still live according to my values and beliefs, be who I truly am – my best self, and create my life to be what I want it to be.”

When you put so much energy into wondering what people think about you, and then valuing yourself based on that – you give the power over to them. When you determine your NEXT course of action – what you’ll do next – based on what people think/say about what you’re about to do, you’ll never go anywhere.

You’ll be powerless. Stagnant. Frustrated. Even angry.

Do you realize that you can not change what people think? Do you realize that it’s really not your purpose in this world to convince people of your great worth, or make them feel good about you?

Yup, it isn’t your work to do.

You have better things to do here – whether it’s creating something amazing, or sharing your knowledge and gifts, or doing something for yourself to grow as a person.

As children, we so often let our worthiness be valued by others – whether it be our teachers, siblings, friends, father or mother. We forget that our worthiness is not the question here. Because we are always worthy and perfect in our way. And it will always be this way.

Why do I say that it is fruitless to mull over what people think about us and take action based on their prior approval? Because most of the time, they will never approve.

Many people like to remain in their comfort zones – most are unaware that remaining in there will cause that zone to shrink, and you’ll never grow if you don’t get out of that zone. When you become aware of who you are, you start to contemplate the idea of doing things outside your comfort zone, right? And that’s the point – we are meant to expand this zone by constantly doing things that we fear.

But many people around you will disapprove of this – because you are making them uncomfortable. The idea of who you are becoming is outside their comfort zone, and it makes them uneasy.

It all comes back to this: You’re here to do great things. What others say/do/think is none of your business. Don’t shrink yourself so that they will feel comfortable. There’s nothing honourable or enlightening about you doing that. Instead, rise up to your greatness, be frickin’ awesome, and then in doing that – you will unknowingly inspire others to be their best self and uplift them too.

Most of the greatest experiences I’ve had were achieved by not giving a damn about what other people thought.

If I was so concerned about what others thought, I would never have followed my bliss by moving from studying to be a vet doctor to being a holistic health coach and nutritionist – something I am truly passionate about; I wouldn’t have started this blog – my online sanctuary that lights me up; I wouldn’t have discovered my gifts in writing, speaking, cooking – some of the activities I enjoy and I’m great at; I would never have reached out to people who inspire and uplift me and befriend them – some of the people who are now my mentors, teachers, true friends.

I would never have made a difference in this world.

I would never really have lived.

Long story short…

What I’m saying is that most of the time, growing in life is a one-person journey. We step up, own our greatness, and shine by allowing ourselves to do so by releasing the need to know what other people might think.

Sometimes (and I’m so happy that this is increasing), we’re blessed to have physical companions that understand, and those who will accompany us in the form of mentors, teachers, inspiration, friends.

But ultimately, it all comes from within us. What others think is none of your business.

You already have everything you need right now – so why would you hold back your greatness?

What are you waiting for?

Take back your power and live your life the way you want it to be.

Loud and proud.

Love + Light,

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